Abortion or Pushing?

I had some time to think while watching intersexions on Tuesday, you know that episode where the church woman and her husband could not conceive and she asked her husbands friend to help her conceive a baby for him? That episode prompted my creative little mind to wander and it didn’t go too far.

What if one finds themselves in a situation where they can conceive but you conceive at the wrong time, with the wrong person and at the wrong place? I know this happens all the time but have you ever actually put yourself in that situation where you are pregnant and neither your bank account nor your living conditions allow it? There is a reason why people undergo abortions and while its easy for you and your flat unpregnant stomach to judge and proclaim how you would never ever and ever do an abortion or adoption, put yourself in the shoes of someone who has all the reasons in the world to do it, I will be kind enough to paint a picture.

You are in your early 20’s, the father of your child is a casual partner in your life (He might be your boyfriend but he views you as his casual girlfriend or he’s your friend with benefits), you still live at home with your very strict Christian parents, he tells you that there’s no way he is participating in the child’s life so you know that your going to be a single parent and your broke, maybe you are still doing your tertiary studies, maybe you finished your tertiary studies and are finding it hard to get a job or  maybe you didn’t even go to tertiary and your just looking for a job right now.

What do you do in such a situation? How do you explain to your very conservative parents that your going to not only have a child but  a fatherless child while you are unmarried and unemployed?  This is in no way a pro abortion post, I’m just sharing what’s on my very open mind and asking you to share your experiences, no judging necessary because you haven’t walked a mile in anyone’s shoes but your very own  so calm down and just share, sharing is caring and it makes the world a  better place.

Stay Beautiful

@Missysparklez

The Learners, Flue and some creativity

Imagine a world where getting your learners and driving licenses is not akin to world war 4. Imagine logging in to the Traffic departments website and filling in an online application form and after sending it you receive a cellphone SMS notification that it was received, with details about how to, what amount to and where to pay the necessary amount. Then off you go to the bank and pay the amount, email or fax your deposit slip and Identification book copy and then in a few days you receive another SMS notification telling you when and at what time you will be writing.

You get to the testing station and everything is done electronically. Your Identification book is checked to ensure that the copy you sent before was not fake, you produce the SMS notification you got and then you go to the computer stall where the learners is written and marked by the computer, so should you fail the computer will tell you so, should you pass the computer will send your new learners to the printing machine where you just wait for a few minutes after which you leave a happy customer.

Now wouldn’t that just be ideal? I thought of this concept when I was on my way to the Randfontein Traffic department, I was there a week ago and after standing in the queue for two cold hours in the morning I was told they had ran out of paper, so I wasted my time and caught a cold in the process. Today I went off at it again, hey if I’m going to be a field journalist a license is a must but I was sick, I was hungry, I had to wait, I felt miserable, some of the service was unkind and I imagined a world where you don’t need to deal with unkind people who don’t know how to serve customers, you don’t need to wait at those long queues (I heard that some people go as far as sleeping at the testing stations in order to be the first in the queue) and you don’t have to catch a cold while waiting and waiting and waiting. This would eradicate all types of bribery, you can’t bribe a computer now can you?

While I try and home remedy my flue and study for my learners, have yourselves a fantastic day lovies, ill tell you how my writing experience was after I write in March and do follow @missysparklez on twitter will you?

Loss

People always say to give it time,that it is time that heals all wounds but when a loved one has been taken away from you, cruelly ripped away from the life they enriched the most the wound is one that time fails in its assumed efforts to heal. People also say that love is a universal language but you only have to witness an exchange between two mothers who lost a child to realize that loss is instead the universal language.

It is a language with no set structure, vowel or form, a language that is unique to each one that encounters it, one that has a variety of interpretations, reactions and who`s occurrence can be soul destroying. Loss is a strong language that has no punctuation’s or pronoun’s – only a verb … and it is then that loss becomes a reality.

We often don`t want to think about death, we eschew it out of our minds, pretend that it won`t happen to us or those dear to us, we fool ourselves into believing that it will happen later, much later in life. When we have said what we have to say, done what was needed, accomplished everything on life’s to do list, and loved with all we had, exhausted ourselves from giving with the receiver at heart. Yes, death or any other kind of loss will happen on our own watch not one that God foresaw and meticulously planned and arranged for – No, yet we attend funerals every Saturday, we bow our heads in condolence, offer soothing words to a friend who lost a lover, a hug to a daughter who lost a friend, tears and a bouquet of flowers for a grieving colleague.

We exhaust our finances, month after month paying funeral policies. So much time and effort preparing for the event death yet so little if any, to create the appropriate mental, spiritual and emotional setting for the moments after discovery, the day he\she walks out the door, the second after the coffin is lowered to the ground.

Then again how do you ask someone to prepare for pain? We are taught how to avoid pain, deal with it, speak about it but never how to prepare for it. The questions filling your mind up, threatening to do away with you, Did I love them enough? Respect them enough? Did I show them how I feel? The raw emotions that run so deep are unexplainable and incomparable to none. Why did they have to leave? Why them and not so and so, what did i do to deserve such, how could they abandon me like that, is it my fault, am i being punished for some far away long forgotten sin-when dawn breaks and sun sets we torture ourselves with questions who`s answers go a long way towards soothing a heart, yet are not present at that time. It is in time that we find those answers as our journey unfolds, the scope of our lives, experiences and opportunities expands that we find those answers as we face pain, hate it, will it away, fight it and embrace it.

We find answers with time as it lends us people, places and a few laughs, as we battle the anger, refuse the loneliness, wallow in confusion and sometimes find the worlds lost, give the hugs not given, cry the uncried tears and wallow in self pity, amaze at nothingness – all in time and I believe that is the only purpose time serves.
We all have lost at one time or another – Some losses more celebrated than others, some met with confusion and bewilderment, some truly heart wrenching and even this explanation fails to justify the emotions felt when one has adored, respected, anticipated, planned, embraced, given life to, given all to, loved and then unexpectedly, unknowingly, without acknowledgement or agreement, cruelly lost. One might have lost a grandmother, a family member, a friend, a life partner, husband or wife, colleague or neighbor or just, that one special person who`s voice complimented every note in one`s life, who`s smile opened the heavens wide, that one dear person that could`ve given so much, could`ve done so much and become a lot more – we all have gone without at a point in our lives. Be it of death, a breakup, an argument, a complication, to another country, to another person or just a disappearance. We all walk around with little badges of pain over a loss, a wound conceived by loss and unable to be diminished not even by time.

I know what it is to lose one dear to me, and each day I think a little about her, dream a bit about her, talk some about her, talk a little to her and pray a lot for her and I would die than have her not believe a truth that keeps me sane and sustains me – That she is alive in my memories and that I loved her beyond her death.

Listen to Yourself [How To Survive In The Jungle]

This might sound like some new age wellness living lecture but that doesn’t make it any less true. You need to listen to yourself for the primary reason that no one knows you like yourself. When I say listen to yourself I mean that you need to be attuned to your thoughts, feelings and opinion, Your values and principals, Your spirituality and its guidance all of which make up the voice that is within you.

Only you can listen to yourself because your voice is within you and no one else. Everybody has a voice within – use it, don’t use it. Other people choose not to use it and those who choose to use it reap the benefits of its wisdom. I am not referring to that voice on the tape recorder in your head, everyone has that voice but it is not what I wish to dwell on because this voice will tell you how stupid you are after failing an important exam or have just been shunned by your friends. This negative voice beats you down when you’re at your lowest, it never fails to remind you of the number of times you have fallen when you’re trying to get yourself off the ground, it kicks you when you’re down and comes down on you harder than your enemy. When the winds of life have knocked you down is when you’re most likely to hear this voice.
The voice in discussion here is that which lies in the depths of your heart. It is your personal motivator, your inspiration and light at the end of the tunnel, I like to believe that it is God’s guidance. This voice cares about you and it is always right because it is wisdom epitomized. This voice will let you know when something goes against your belief system, it lets you know when you are in a situation that is dangerous, some call it intuition but I prefer to refer to it as the voice of my creator. When you are about to do something illegal, immoral, unsafe or wrong in every manner this voice will give you a response and usually it is in the form of feelings so you would get nervous before stealing money because you know that stealing is not right, listen to that feeling- it is the voice within you. Sometimes the voice within you may come as an actual voice that will talk to you and you should still listen to it.

So why must you listen to this voice? Because people have escaped bad relationships, decided to leave abusive partners and prevented many a disastrous thing because they have simply listened to themselves. You are capable of making healthy decisions for yourself by listening to yourself because unlike your friends, the voice within you doesn’t have a hidden agenda, it is not inexperienced, it will not shun you or gossip about you, this voice is the most important voice besides that of your parents. If you don’t listen to yourself how will you listen to your parents? This entire process starts with listening to yourself because it forces one to understand the self beyond the external and once you have a full understanding of yourself you are capable of standing up for yourself, you have a better understanding of yourself and you become a more compassionate human being.

Ever heard the saying “everything you need is within you”? That is because it is. If you’re unsure about a decision you have to make, you’re afraid of taking a risk, your growing weary and don’t know how you will survive pain, you can find those answers by spending some time with yourself and consulting you. All you have to do is pay attention, listen to your joy and heal your pain.

Life : It goes on

While on my way to one of life’s events starring out the window on a chilly Thursday morning i noticed that it was raining, for the first time i noticed the beauty of rain as each drop fell from the sky and hit the ground without much fore warning or negotiation. The rain water was flowing ever so smoothly along the streets, creating little pools of heaven on earth. My soul was pacified. I thought “wow! Joburg is sad so it’s crying for the entire population to see.” I smiled to myself as i recognized that silly thought and it dawned on me that life is similar to Johannesburg’s tears, it goes on even when every fiber of its existence is fighting for it to stop. Life proudly displays its joys and shows its pain for all to see, no matter how badly you want it to, it never stops.

As you may have guessed i was going through my own life’s pain when i stumbled on that realization whose truth was beginning to fade as it threatened my will to stay true. Everybody goes through pain and change once in a while but the common mistakes they make is to allow that pain to change them, to wish away life’s progressiveness or allow life’s madness to become their sanity. They become addicted to life’s pain and thus allow life to dictate their own lives. That is not living, it existing and rolling with the punches, going with the flow or whatever else you may call it.

When you allow life’s pain to change you, you are giving up all the right`s to being yourself and throwing away all control to life which is influenced by a lot of people, events and objects and it is obvious then that you won’t be enjoying the wonder that is life because you’ll be too busy rolling with the punches and going with the flow. When life has you beaten and bruised never surrender yourself to its bitter juice and become the person that it’s shaping you to be. In essence I’m saying don’t be shaped by`life`, give shape to your own life because that is the real accomplishment: knowing that the shape your life is in at the moment is of your own efforts or lack thereof. Trudge on no matter how much it hurts because the greatest teacher of life is pain-not experience, you learn by getting burnt by the fire, not standing near the fire.
This is the beauty of life: it goes on and on and on. Even if your world has stopped and your silently wishing life away there are multitudes of people cheering it on and because you’re so focused on your paused world you fail to notice the real activity in life and become the loser because as you were isolated and engrossed in your own life the rest of the world is moving on, living, playing. Ever noticed how when your heartbroken it becomes a shock to see the hustle and bustle of everyday life because yours had stopped as you were too busy engrossed in life’s pain? Grab this bull by the horns and keep trudging on even when the road ahead seems steep because only then will you realize that life, it goes on and on and on, no matter what pain you’re in and it’s about time you followed in its footsteps, that’s right, never stop going on and on and on.

When you’re so engrossed in pain, whether you’re trying to solve it or you’re just stuck in it you begin to lose touch with reality and allow that madness to become your sanity. You will wake up one day an realise that you were holding on to false identities, beliefs, hopes and truth because you were functioning on a madness that you believed so badly was your sanity. You had internalized life’s events, promises and dreams as your own so basically you sold your sanity for madness without even realising it.
Life goes on and on and on, rather follow in its footsteps and keep going on even if you have to wear your pain and tears for the whole world to see, even if you will proudly display your happiness because life goes on so learn to go on as well.

How they tell us how to be us

I have been quite and watching things unfold and spoken before me while I just observed and made mental notes and today I speak out. Have you ever noticed how common It is for a man to tell a woman how to be a woman? This isn’t a recent occurrence but it has been happening and women have, for some reason unbeknownst to me, allowed this to happen and kept quiet, have men controlled us so much that even when they are telling us how to be us we fail to speak out? Below I will make a couple of points, examples of how man is controlling woman without there being a brouhaha about it, he is doing it silently and intelligently so because we are accepting it and this is what caught my attention, man is using words, just simple words to make sure that females stay in their lanes and know their “place”.

Culturally a woman’s parents arranged her wedding to a wealthy or well off man so that they could rest assured that their child and the grandchildren will be well taken care of. Actually I think wealth or education is still a criteria in most arranged marriages to this day but now when I mention that I want an educated man who earns twice what I earn, has a car and his own house I am called a gold digger firstly by men and shockingly by women. What is the difference between arranged marriages where a husband is chosen or preferred because of his family’s wealth and a 21st century woman choosing or preferring only wealthy men? In the past it was called standards and now because men want us to drop our standards and still have their way with us without assuming any real responsibility it is called gold digging. So now a woman with standards is called a gold digger, way to go guys

This is also a cultural thing and I’m glad that the culture has been preserved until today. Young girls wore little beads to cover their privates or what in Tswana we call a tshikga which basically covered their privates and left their thighs and breasts hanging, a bra is a western thing and was never part of cultural attire and back then females were never called hoes, cheap or anything degrading like that because it was understood that they were supposed to dress like that and females were still respected. Nowadays I can’t even wear my mini skirt in Johannesburg CBD without being sexually assaulted or having men tell me that I’m asking to be raped and let’s please remember that this is MY body, so they choose our clothes as well.

A woman who was thick, a woman who had breasts and curves was considered to be the most beautiful and they were seen as the perfect women to marry to bear children but in the 21st century if a woman is anything over a size 10 she is considered fat and unhealthy, there you have it, these men are even defining our beauty for us.

A woman didn’t cook, clean and provide wifely duties for a man who hasn’t married her, it was considered taboo because a man had to marry you first, honor you and your family first before he received the treatment and benefits of a husband but nowadays we are called frigid and lazy should we dare refuse to be wives without contracts.

There you have it, men are still controlling women and telling us how to be women and we are accepting and even perpetuating the methods that men use to define us and tell us how to be us, lets change this female, its starts with us and it takes the same words that they use to own us for us to break free and own and define our identities as females.

A woman talks to women

Can I talk to women today? Can I be blatantly and painfully honest with my words? Everyone who knows me knows that I’m a lover of and fighter for women, hell I love women so much I even crush on them, I defend them on my twitter timeline and get called names for my efforts, I cry for them just as I cry if someone disrespect’s blackness, my mother or myself. I am a proud black woman but I’m beginning to see certain trends with females that just bothers me and today, right now, this right here is my chance, my space to let it out and let it hang, I need to or else I will stay with this pain and anger and those are joy stealer’s so let’s talk it out females.

You go on Twitter or Facebook and call another woman a bitch, a hoe but when a man calls you a bitch or a hoe he’s wrong? Don’t get me wrong I sometimes fall in the trap of degrading us by labeling as well and I had to change my ways and rather put the word hoe in a quotation mark if I definitely, absolutely had to use it. Now we get females who don’t even know each other calling each other hoes as if they’ve been inside each other, what would make you hate yourself like that? Don’t you know that what you do to another woman you do to yourself? In Isizulu they say Ivili liyajika (the wheel rotates) and Isixhosa says Inxeba lomfazi alihlekwa (a woman’s wound is never to be laughed at) because you are female and human too so please let’s stop this labelling of each other as females and rather pull for each other instead of at each other because that’s the only way well stop these men from calling us names, its starts with us.

You keep taking back the man who cheats on you, doesn’t support your child, abuses you emotionally and physically and to thank him for treating you like rubbish you decide to cook for him, live with him, have more of his babies and clean his house, when are you going to start loving yourself? Sometimes we as women have got to assume the responsibility for our own misery, the fact that you keep taking him back is giving him consent to keep doing it, he can’t treat you like garbage if you don’t give him the permeation and I don’t care if he is your meal ticket, go find a home, a neighbour, a church to live in while you get yourself together. Rather live in a mess than be a mess.

Your social networking avatar’s are all pictures of you half naked with all your bits hanging out and then you expect to find a man who will respect you and love you for you? Are you out of your mind woman?! What you give to the world is exactly what you’re going to get back so if you’re going to project sex symbol/sex on legs hot as hell that’s exactly what you’re going to get back. After all of this we have the nerve to complain when men objectify us and use us half naked on their music videos when we give them permission to do so by undressing our own selves and inviting the world in.

Getting married is not being crowned miss universe so stop pressurising your men to marry you and stop thinking that you’re better than other women who are not married or they will be the first to laugh when that man goes and cheats on you with one of their daughters. Another thing, can the side dishes stop hoping that they will replace the wives? Really now that is so 90s, if you are a side dish you must sit down very comfortably on that non prioritized bench and shut up and if you’re the wife you should be keeping your dignity and pride intact by not running after every woman he cheats with.

Now this goes out specifically to the black females because yall know what our culture says, can we please stop living with men who haven’t paid lobola? The next thing you’re going to be complaining after he has lived with you for 10 years, has you mothering 3 of his children and goes and marries someone he’s known for 6 months, it happens more often than you know, trust me I’ve seen it so if he hasn’t put a ring on it within 3 years move on instead of holding on to a loser and further devaluing yourself by moving in with someone who’s just “hiring” your services and has no intention of drawing up a long term contract with you. I’ve said my piece and I feel so much better, sometimes these woman to woman talks are necessary, we can’t claim sisterhood if we’re not going to point out each others wrongs and help each other move forward.

Thou Shall Listen to Thy Parents-[How To Survive In The Jungle]

I know this sounds ancient and biblical but it is true. You should always listen to your parents regardless of how old you are because in the eyes of your parent you will always be a child. The reason why I advocate listening to your parents all the time is because your parent has lived before you were even an idea. If you are female, your mother went through menstruation, relationship problems, self esteem and self image issues just like you have and that means that your mother is your immediate, personal source of wisdom. If you are male then your father checked out girls like you do, questioned his manhood like you do, had his first wet dream like you did so really, your parent knows everything that you have and will go through and if you ask you might just find that your parent has personally experienced some things that you are going through.

Your parents are the closest thing to God that you can find. They will never give you wrong advice just to spite you, they will not go around the neighborhood telling everyone your business, they want to see you prosper, live healthily, become the person you were meant to be, in a nutshell, your parents love you so why the hell wouldn’t you take advice from someone who only has your best interest at heart?

The best thing about heeding your parents advice is that your parent knows you more than anyone else in your life, the only person on earth who knows you better than your parent is yourself so when you decide to take your parents advice you will have the peace of mind knowing that it is tailored to you specifically. Your parent will give you advice based on the person you are, they know you so they won’t advice you to do something that they know you will find impossible and you will always know that no matter how bitter, that advice comes from a place of love.

I remember when my mother used to tell me to “stay away from boys” I was a teenager, I was hormonal and the world was mine to conquer so there was no need to listen to my old mother who didn’t have a clue about being a teenager and didn’t realize how staying away from the opposite sex would absolutely destroy my social life and cripple me for life. I look back on that time as an adult after I have been broken, used and hurt by boys and some scares are still there, right now I have trust issues when going in to relationship and had I listened to my mother, I wouldn’t have gone through so much pain.

If you ask anyone who got pregnant prematurely, became a father prematurely or contracted the HI virus “I should have listened to my mother” would probably be one of their their regrets because had they done so, they wouldn’t have ended up with such consequences. The thing about people is that we want to learn from trial and error. We refuse to be told what to do because we know everything right? Wrong. We first want to go through something before we believe that it can be detrimental to our health- emotional or physical. So we go through the experience and only once we have found out that the consequences aren’t so pleasant, do we go back to our parents to help us clean our mess up when we refused to listen to them or didn’t bother consulting them when they could have helped us prevent our current mess. Listen to your parents before it is too late, before you have a mess to clean up.

The reasons behind – How to Survive In the Jungle

Going through life I have made many discoveries, learnt valuable but painful lessons and engaged in many things prematurely. I always wondered why someone doesn’t just create a manual for life, some may say that the ultimate manual for life is the bible but I’m talking about something that is individual specific and situation specific, something that can be read from the moment one goes in to their teens, something that even atheists and agnostics can find relevant and helpful.

One of the discoveries I made is that people don’t always listen to their parents, no matter how old you are there are times that you will ignore what your parent is saying and do what you want, what you think is right for you and now, wouldn’t it be fabulous if there was some text, some lifeline, some guidance that you could refer to when you reach those times that you don’t want to listen to your parents? Lets face it, a letter to Drum magazines agony aunt takes too long when your troubled. This is why I have decided to share these articles, these lessons I’ve learnt and watch some people learn the hard way. How to survive in the jungle is a simple, useful and thoughtful compilation of lessons, things that you have probably experienced, some may be new to you and some may not and I hope you’ll enjoy the ride with me.

I guess one could say that this is a guide to life, but since everyone has different experiences and life paths not everything that I have included here will be useful to everyone, but what I have written here is helpful, real and current.

There are some truth’s of life, the real things in life that aren’t found in a life orientation text book, that your parents can’t tell you and your friends have no experience about. They are jungle secrets that you only learn from living. The secrets of the jungle that is life that we most often learn through pain, regret and loss. Today I begin a weekly journey in to How To Survive In The Jungle and hope you learn as much as I have.

[Picture from Google : Vanhaydu.com]

What makes for a good wife?

My friends and I, were a cool crazy bunch and we don’t always talk about men, men are faded, they lie, cheat and watch soccer when we wanna watch reruns of the real housewives of something so no, men are not that interesting anymore especially since most of my friends are engaged or married so in our latest gathering we talked about the good wife, no not the series with the attorney wife but the real good wife whom we all thought our mothers were and society moulds us to be from the minute we are born. In particular, we talked about what makes the good wife, now as women we can’t really come up with one real answer because we haven’t gotten married to ourselves or any other woman for that matter hence with this one I’m opening the floor to the guys, what would make a good wife? And why the hell do yall wife ladies who are violent, cheating and just down right dirty? I just had to add that one in because I’m tired of hearing men complain about their abusive wives when they are the ones that chose them.

My idea of the good wife is of course realistic cause I’m a creative who’s very self centered, I can’t cook everyday (have you ever heard of period pains?), I will not do your laundry so that you can look all cleaned up for your mistress but I will clean the house because I don’t like nastiness, so in my view, if she’s faithful, gives you good sex, respects your crazy mother and puts up with your Bull shit then she’s a good wife so please don’t dog out on her but my dear friends, my dear friends with rings and wedding planners think differently. They say she must be a good cook, clean the house, the laundry is done every Saturday without fail, take care of her bed room business, look good at all times, she must respect her man and his family, put her family first, she must have children and love being a mother, when they started mentioning regular church goer I gave up and asked myself if these are men with whom I’m having a conversation?
They sound like their talking about super woman and don’t you dare tell me that my mother did the same, my mother didn’t have a stressful job, my mother didn’t have to worry about facebook, mxit and twitter influences on her children, hell all she had to do was keep us away from boys and in church and she was all good so motherhood then and now are two different things and also men then and now are two different things, side dishes then and now, those are like two different worlds.

So you want me to cook, clean, do the laundry, rock you in bed, go to church, have your babies, look after them, stay faithful to you, put up with your BS, deal with your side dishes and then still have a life of my own? I’m not super woman and even she would’ve found some kind of an exit clause, hell it would be way easier if I just marry my own self and it scares me that the above are suggested by females, Lord how the men have screwed us up, they even telling us how to be ourselves, if females come up with such a long sexist list, what will the men say?

So what makes a good wife? Be honest, realistic and please try to remain in the 21st century, you know that century where females have helpers who are so hot they end up being the wife. Do tell, I got a point to prove.

Dear BabyMama : Woman to Woman

I probably shouldn’t be writing you this letter but I felt that I need to open this dialogue, I need to start this conversation between you and I, you the woman who mothers my mans child and me, the woman who holds your baby daddy’s heart.

First of all we need to clear things up, I did not steal the father of your child, he came to me, he pursued me and had he wanted a happily ever after with you then he would’ve chosen to stay with you so please understand that I am not responsible for whatever happened in your relationship and I would appreciate it if you stopped blaming me for that.

Secondly, I will not be involved in your co parenting relationship, I am not trying to stop him from having a relationship with his child and because I love this man I have accepted and encourage his relationship with his child and I will not treat your child as I would my own because I don’t have a child and I’m not trying to replace you as a mother but I will show your child love, respect and try to be a positive role model to him so I do not appreciate you labeling me as a bad influence on your child because if I harm him I harm the man I love.

My relationship with this man has nothing to do with you, so don’t take it upon yourself to advice my man on what he should do when he is stupid enough to confide in you or the cracks in our relationship are visible to you and also, do not punish him by denying him access to his child, you are doing more damage to your child than to him so please love your child enough to stay above the petty stuff. We both know that his mother prefers you over me and I’m okay with that, I fell in love with and I’m in a relationship with this man, not his mother so please don’t floss about how his mother loves you or try to outshine me at family gatherings, it is petty and useless because his mothers love for you was never enough to make him stay with you anyway.

I wrote this letter for a woman to woman conversation because believe it or not, we have two things in common, we both love two great men who are going to be in our lives forever and I would like to make this work for the child and for our own well-being. Please stop putting on a performance when you see me, I’m not Generations casting director and this is not an audition, I’m the woman he loves, the woman who is going to be your sons step mother with or without your consent, I don’t care if you had him first, he is with me now and he chose me, not you and lastly, a child is not a virtual marriage certificate so don’t act like your relationship with him was deeper or equated to marriage more than what I share with him now.

Regards

The woman who loves them

5 bags every woman should have [FashionEducation]

I have been way to serious lately so lets let our hair down and focus on the beauty and this time around we talking bags, let’s go!

•First up we are the small ones, namely the clutch that is famous with formal events and those oh so gorgeous dresses and heels I always put up here, the clutch has been around forever and it keeps coming and going but this time around it seems to be staying, so If you don’t have one yet go get it, that is if you have opportunities to go formal and bling it out. Beneath the clutch is one of the most convenient creations, I see it as the informal version of the clutch, not too big and not too small and if you’re not a bag lady and are mostly informal get this messenger bag that will just make your life easier and give your shoulders a rest.

•Next up is the tote bag which Is perfect if you’re going to the beach, or going out with friends during the day, nothing fancy, still beautiful and able to fit in everything you could ever imagine in your bag and next to it is the famous Hobo bag, I really am not a fan of this bag but I’ve seen it mostly used as the ultimate work bag, that bag that is big enough to carry all your stuff and still look formal enough or casual if you dress it down to go well with your outfit.

•And lastly if you want to channel your inner Victoria Beckam or Kate Middleton then please get this beyond gorgeous 2012 Gucci top handle bag, I swear I saw it and I fell in love.

So which bags do you have and which ones don’t you have? Go stock up on these beautiful creations beautiful people! All of this and all men have to do is get a simple man bag, life is unfair isn’t it? Not if you love bags, fashion and beautiful things so happy shopping!

The clutch bag and beneath it a messenger bag

The tote bag and a red hobo bag

A Gucci Top handle bag

The Good Girl Syndrome

Too many women are infected with what I call “The Nice Girl Syndrome” and it is those women who become what society deems “bad girls” “bitches, hoes” and for the love of all things woman I feel the need to break down the symptoms of this nice girl syndrome that is the downfall of most if not all women.

•You feel the need to be nice to EVERYONE. That includes the bastard who cheated on you with your bestfriend, the lowlives who are asking you out in your facebook/ twitter inboxes. You just can’t help it, you just want to be nice.

•You see the good in everyone. It doesn’t matter how bad someone is you always want to give them a second chance, you feel that everyone has a good part of them and that’s what you focus on when you deal with people even if a person is low down and dirty you will still manage to see some good.

•You trust EVERYONE. You believe that a person has to do wrong by you first before you don’t trust them instead of being suspicious of everyone until they give you a reason not to be.

•You believe that people won’t hurt or do wrong by you if you are nice to them or if they see how nice you are, how beautiful you are, how caring, Christian, loving etc. You are.

•You actually believe that everyone that comes in to your life, asks for your numbers, calls you beautiful has good intentions.

•You are a people pleaser, everyone has to be happy when they are around you and you feel bad when you don’t give people what they want.
•When you fall in love, you think its forever and start imagining picket fences, 2.5 kids and the white wedding gown.

•You don’t have standards, hey, everyone deserves a chance right?

The above are just some of the symptoms of the “Good girl syndrome” and this illness causes women to sleep with almost every man who says the right words, it makes women lose themselves in relationships and most importantly victims of these illness will end up broken, used, damaged, empty, bitter and angrier than Lucifer. And that kids, is just one of the reasons we have so called bad girls or bitches and hoes, they are victims of this society that tells a woman to be soft, obedient, humble and naturing and neglects to teach them how to be assertive, confident and not to give a fuck. Next time you wanna call someone a hoe, remember that she might just be a Good gal done wrong by the world.

Lets talk about the x baby

Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a very dark and deep hole where one would just deposit their ex and any remaining feelings for them and just walk away? That was my thinking yesterday when an ex that I would rather pretend was dead decided to call me. But then again, I’m that girl that fantasizes about the most creative way of murdering all of my ex’s, I actually sit down (when they come to mind and I’m bored) and I visualize myself ending their lives so I’ve been known to solve reasonable problems in unconventional and drastic ways and the above is just another example.

There are 3 types of ex’s, the ones you still want and you parted with over something trivial, the one who hurt you a lot and because of them you are stronger and wiser and the third one is the scum of the earth, the one who ripped your heart out and did the dougy all over it and left you destroyed, that’s the ex you pretend is dead or fantasize about killing, that’s the ex who called me yesterday and I really enjoyed hanging up on him, after I cursed him out of course. I won’t go in to what happened between him and I (I might just go through the killing him plot again) but I want to ask, what makes someone that you have once loved, cared for and adored to turn around and be your worst nightmare, an enemy and your worst mistake? In essence I’m asking what are your deal breakers, what is it that would put an ex in to the I want to murder you category, or you’ve made me stronger thank you so much category?

Everyday I am thankful that I never sired children with anyone of my ex’s, the saying that “If you want to see how much you’ve grown take a look at your exes”. Rings very true for me, does it for you? Another thing that puzzles me is why do ex’s insist on remaining in your life after they’ve ripped your heart in to miserable pieces? In all my life I’ve never dated a man who hasn’t come back begging for forgiveness and that begs the question, if it didn’t work out the first time with your ex what makes you think it will work now or were all these men just pushing my buttons to see if I will give in? An ex is there to serve as an example of who you shouldn’t be with in the future, so let’s talk about these people that fell from the pedestals we so happily put them on in happier times.

MS lurvs ya! (@Missysparklez) Xoxoxo

This 21s century kind of love

Welcome to the 21st century. You open a twitter account and chat to strangers as much as you want, should the avatars of one of those strangers be appealing to you, you can DM them declaring your undying love for them, from then which the pursued can elevate you from the title of twitter hubby/twifey to their BBM but only after zooming in to your avatar of course. BBM is where bank balances, where do you live, is that your real hair, what brand of alcohol do u drink and what do you do for a living conversations are had and it is also here where important decisions are made and the real future of the physical relationship is determined.

So after you are deemed good enough (she is clean, she’s still hot so her twitter avi wasn’t lying, she is really single) and (he makes enough to take me to Hush, he can afford that Moet and Aldo and although he’s not much of a looker his car more than makes up for it) it then becomes time to meet physically and make this relationship official.

First date is at Liquid Chefs, dude doesn’t wanna disappoint, he is after all hoping those cocktails will kick any cock blockers ass and so they do, gal is impressed (first date and he’s taking me to such a hot place imagine what the second date will be like, OMG what if I have his children, I can already imagine our little babies in his hot car, my friends are going to be so impressed) and the man, ever the gentleman is out to please and of course, eat (he wouldn’t be a man if he did otherwise, he’s got street cred, he’s spending too much on this night) and so meaning less conversation is had, thighs are stroked and tounges become one, she can’t remember leaving Liquid Chefs but she wakes up in his luxurious bed with white cotton sheets and he, well he comes in with take away break fast for his queen, she’s glowing, she’s happy, she’s planning a big wedding. He’s anxious, he’s thinking and he’s planning his fucken exit.

Welcome to the 21st century, its not love, it is what it is. It is whatever you want it to be.

Mzantsi Talent show survivors

In my last post I discussed talent searches and now I’m giving you 5 of our very own talent search winners and some who didn’t win but the talent shows definitely gave them a platform to launch their careers and now they are holding it down in their careers giving some hope that there is life after not winning a talent search or maybe proving that there is still hope for talent searches in SA.

First up we have my favourite Simba Mhere who is not only talented and hot but he is educated too! Very good husband material for those of you who are trawling, this guy has B.comm accounting degree from the University of Johannesburg and he won the Top Billing presenter search in 2010

One of South Africa’s it girls right now Minenhle Dlamini from Durban who won the Live presenter search in June 2010 and left Durbs and her studies for this gig and I’m sure she doesn’t regret it, gal has had a Legit clothing line, is a Metro FM DJ and she’s also an actress on The Wild, that amongst many other things.

Now this guy can sing and I think he is married so hands off you thirsty little groupies! Lloyd Cele first made it on the scene as an Idols SA contestant in 2010 and although he didn’t win, brother released an album, his hit single “You make it easy” went viral and he bagged a collabo with Loyiso Bala, think its called Thando and he is from Durban

Beautiful Gail Nkoane is yet another one who was a contestant on Idols 2010 and although she didn’t win it, she made the best of her fame from that show and has since went on to act in the wild and she is actually better well known for her acting than she is for her singing and she still stays hot.

Then there was Selimathunzi presenter Lunga Tshabalala who won the presenter search and is still the presenter and I heard that he is a radio presenter as well at an online radio station. I’ve been told he is talented, Im yet to see the talent and I’ve heard that he was hot and Im still searching for the hotness, I’ll tell you when I find it.

So who are your favourite talent show winner’s right here in Mzantsi or abroad? Asikhulume, let’s talk!

The boys, on the right is Lloyd Cele and Lunga Tshabalala and my fav. Simba Mhere on the right

Minenhle Dlamini and Gail Nkoana the future Mrs Mabalane, arent we just happy for her?

Do we still need Talent Search shows today?

I have had the reality competition discussion with myself over and over again and I still haven’t reached an amiable conclusion. See one of my closest friends can sing and I mean she can really belt it out but while discussing ways of getting discovered in the music scene she refused the suggestion to audition for talent shows and I have to say that her reasons were very valid. Amongst her reasons is embarrassment if she doesn’t make it, feeling that the judges are not industry professionals and breaking in to a nervous wreck a few minutes before she’s supposed to audition.

Now the validity and success of these shows is well proven, overseas we had people such as Jennifer Hudson, Nicole Scherzinger and Jordan Sparks discovered through talent shows and on the local side we have my favourite Simba Mhere Top Billing presenter, Kelly Khumalo (she was on a talent show and that’s how she got signed) and Jamali all discovered through talent shows so its fair to say that these shows work and they have proven to unearth real talent.

My problem with shows like these is, as a judge who has seen thousands of people sing/present in just a matter of hours, aren’t you bound to be somewhat less tolerant than you were when the day started and thus judge the last few acts unfairly? Secondly, the people they get to judge these shows! If a contestant considers the judge to be less of a talent than themselves how do you expect the contestant to perform for and be judged by them? My friend said that she would never perform before any Idols SA judge because her talent is above them and you see I don’t blame her, some producers pull In judges purely for the sake of ratings, how else do you explain a radio DJ or fashion designer judging a music talent show? Its important that the talent respect the judge so that they can respect their opinion as well but really, if you bring an actress to judge a dance competition your asking for it. One of the few talent shows that I respected in terms of judging is Class Act, each week they brought talented and much respected actors/actresses as judges and contestants knew that they could learn a lot from their judges and thus didn’t question their criticism, now please tell me how an unknown singer will learn from a fashion designer about singing and what that singer will learn about singing from a has been?

Is there a need for all these talent shows? What happens to the contestants who don’t make it because some actually can sing, or dance or present but have not been trained or allowed a chance to manage their stage fright. A year ago we had Lunga Tshabalala who won the Selimathunzi presenter search and just a few months afterwards we heard rumours that he was already pre-selected for the show so this also brings the question that are some of these talent shows just rating boosters for these shows or are they real? Sure there is a genuine need for new faces, new talent in our media industry but is it worth humiliating a contestant for comedic relief in that quest? I guess with that I just missed the whole point of these shows but really, its not necessary to make fun of people who have genuine talent that is hidden behind the nerves, this is what discourages many a great talent from showing up in the first place and that’s why you have talents search winners who win based on looks rather than talent because the real talent wont take the risk of being humiliated.

Beauty Tips of the week! Yes, TIPS!

I deprived my beautiful people of the beauty tip of the week last week so today I will make amends and pay it back two fold as I give you a bumper edition of the beauty tips. These ones are gems really, all completely homemade, not a lot of ingredients needed (you probably have most in your kitchen) and they work! You’ve probably heard of some, you’ve probably seen some but they are all cost effective, enjoyable ways of enhancing your own beauty while having fun. Why not make a day of it? Call your close friends, get some wine (not too much before you start messing up your measurements) and have some fun creating these remedies and trying them out on each other? Let’s have some free fun! Do share your thoughts afterwards now will you?

The face mask
Get your blender up and working with an avocado mask, make sure you blend the avocado very well and then apply it to your face, wait 15 minutes and then remove, don’t your face look a little bit happier?

For the eyes
While you’re getting that avocado face mask, why not cut some cucumbers, place the slices around your eyes, and have a drink while all covered up in food? Keep the conversation going and take them off after 20 minutes for dark circle and swell free eyes.

The body scrub
When you’re finished pampering your face why not take a relaxing bath or shower if you want and give yourself a break? Its coffee grounds (freshly brewed organic caffeinated coffee), 1 table spoon of salt, mix them together and there you have it, your own body scrub! Do rinse afterwards and use the grounds before 20 minutes expires for effectiveness.

Now that you feel all refreshed and beautiful, aren’t you just glad you saved up all your money (well most) and turned a day at home in to a spa treatment with good company? I also heard that strawberries can be helpful as a teeth whitener, while I go get myself some strawberries, why don’t you pass this around and share the beauty? A beautiful day to an extra beautiful person today

[Picture from Google]

Me about marriage

I’m that girl that loves her space, I love being able to do whatever, whenever and not have to report or share it with any one and in fact that’s one of the reasons I won’t shack up with a man, sometimes I don’t feel like being around people and he can either stay, shut up and sleep in the guest bedroom or he can leave and book himself a motel, I don’t care but when I want to be alone, I do that and I often wonder, does marriage allow you to be alone? I don’t think so. I’m that girl who has trust issues, it’s not of my own doing so why do I have to be ashamed of them? I will question a man’s sincerity to me until he gives me reasons not to, I suspect you until you give me a reason to trust you and not the other way around, now it hasn’t always been that way but reality has a funny way of bitch slapping you until you face the cold hard truth. I am that girl who feels like I don’t need a marriage contract to prove a commitment, no, I’m with Ophra on this one, the fact that Steadman stayed with her (forget about the money) without a marriage contract says a lot about the kind of relationship they have and I’m addicted to novelty, I love learning and finding out new things, that’s why I’m also a recovering love addict, does marriage, after 5 years still feel new? I don’t think so.

I have a problem with men leaving, actually it’s a fear. I imagine that every man that walks in to my life will leave eventually and honestly, I haven’t experienced any different, the only man who’s stayed is God and Dr Phil, the latter which doesn’t count cause he’s married and the former created me and is doing this out of love but so far, no one has proved me wrong. I also have a fear of losing myself to a man, to a relationship, I’ve seen too many married women who don’t know who they are anymore, it’s like you get married and all your about is wifely duties, kids and more wifely duties, like I said, Im a recovering love addict so I shall not go where I shall be tempted again. Im actually afraid of being a wife, pledging or vowing the rest of my life to someone I don’t share DNA with terrifies me, what if he’s a serial killer? What if forever is too long and we get bored and we find out that we had no business being together? (I’m a perfectionist so a wrong marriage will be disastrous for me) What If he becomes a child molester after I have his babies? What if he cheats on me and gives me HIV? What if we get divorced and expose our children to our bitter juices in turn making them even more bitter than we are? No I have too many fears, call it paranoia, maybe it will change one day in the very distant future but for now, I’ll have the wedding and the 72 day marriage contract please, hey, well say we had “irreconcilable differences”, no kids, no drama, no affairs, no irritating mother in law to put in her place, just me, the money and my wedding day. Those are just some of the reasons why I don’t want to get married, I’m not saying I won’t, maybe I will fall in love and meet “the one” who knows? I’m just saying that to me, marriage is a bonus, not a must have. It’s like the neon heels, nice to have but not style suicide if you don’t have them. Do you want to get married or are u already married? Share those thoughts and have you, a Monday that looks exactly like you, beautiful.

Relationships 101 for Damsels in Distress [Part 2]

So its that time of the week where we do it again, here are the rest of the Dating/Relationships 101 tips for Damsels in Distress as promised in the original post here , enjoy ladies!

>Do not call a man 7 days a week – Give the brother a chance to miss you and don’t spend every waking moment of your life with him either, give a guy the chance to appreciate you or else you’ll soon be singing Beyonce’s “If i were a boy” – with passion.

>If he left you he did exactly that-he left you! So please don’t call, SMS or please call him. Don’t send him a soppy SMS’s about how your bed still smells like him, don’t call him drunk as a skunk crying your eyeballs out because if he wanted contact with you he wouldn’t have left in the first place. So do yourself a favour and accept, embrace and welcome the fact that you aren’t his Cinderella and if you embrace it, feel the pain and get over it, you might discover that you aren’t the evil step sister as well.

>The only way to get a man to do something for you from which he will reap no benefits from therein is not to expect it, he either does it because he loves you or he won’t do it at all. Expectation is like commitment to a man-its either they run at the sound of it or does it because he loves you and enjoys seeing you happy.

>Ever heard the saying “When God closes a door he opens a window” ? well it’s the same with a man. Learn to let go! Don’t get hung up on that one man that was just perfect for you and treated you like the queen you are, it was good while it lasted but danmit woman that man is gone! And as long as you’re hung up on him you’ll keep on kissing frogs that never turn in to princes and you’ll compare every other man to that one man-it’s not fair! Let go of that man and watch the frog your with turn in to a prince, because no man will be able to live up to another man’s shadow, sure he’ll try, but after a while i can guarantee you that he’ll get tired of competing, of not being good enough and what will you be left with? Just another frog and another, and another, and another, and another. Let go of Mr. perfect and allow God to bless you with a man who’s just alright for you

Red, White and Black-Has the Little black dress reached its death? Lets settle it!

Now the Black dress has been know as the freakum dress, The go to dress, The oh-my-gosh-I-need-to-rock-them dress and its a classic, we know but is it maybe being replaced and outshined by the striking red (which makes just as much a statement) or the classy white (which presents a woman as pure perfection)?

Well let’s settle it right here and right now and what better way than to draw inspiration from the recent 70th Annual Golden Globes red carpet and show you how your favourite stars rocked all three colours? For some extra eye candy I added one extra picture of my favourite Halle Berry dress in red and JLos Zuhair Murad lace creation, you decide which one replaces the classic black or will black retain its reign?

Naomi Watts in a Zac Pasen, Claire Danes in a Versace and Jennifer Garner in a Vivienne Westwood.

Megan Fox in Dolce & Gabbana, Anne Hathaway in Channel and Heidi Klum in Alexandre Vauthier.

Jennifer Lopez at the after party, Singer Adele Atkins and hottie Eva Longoria in Emillio Pucci

As usual i had to add my favourite dresses! Halle Berrys picture was not from the Golden Globes.

So You want to be thin?

So you want to be thin? You spend a good portion of your salary buying herbal teas and all sorts of diet concoctions that promise you a slimmer you and you dream of wearing a bikini without seeing any bulges or having to hide anything? Well read on and allow a size 6 to explain to you why you should hold on to your curves. I will call it the chronicles of the skinny girl, let’s laugh a little while I introduce you to the other side of skinny and hopefully by the end of this you will choose to be healthy and not skinny. I haven’t always been skinny, a fact that most people find hard to believe but honestly I was a chubby kid and an even chubbier teenager and then life happened in High School and I shrinked down to a tiny size 6 without really making the effort to, it just happened and being the only thin girl in a family of curvy women was not easy but that was better than going out in to the world where every second person felt obliged to tell me that I should start eating to get some “meat” on my “bones”.

What in the hell would make you think that I don’t eat? Look here I’m a black woman born and bred in a township and that means that pap is my staple food, I eat meat almost every day, vegetables are always fried and a healthy diet is a foreign term to my mother, well up until recently so you may be surprised that I actually eat more than you do, I eat even when I’m full just because I love food so staying skinny because I don’t eat is impossible. In the black culture turning down a plate of food is thought to be an insult so going on a diet was near impossible. Then I have to deal with the men who think that all I am and could ever be is sex on legs. These kinds of men would never think of marrying me, let alone being in a long term relationship with me and this has nothing to do with who I am but how I look cause hey, I’m hot, I’m eye candy so when they see me they see their new trophy girlfriend, something to show off to their friends while their wives (most of whom are full figured are at home with the children) and this is further perpetuated by those hottest women in the world lists where most if not all of those women are thin so it’s safe to say that my body type would be the pin up poster type for most men. Thanks to that I now have to differentiate between men who want my body and men who want the real me before I get in to a relationship with anyone (and the number of those who want my body increases daily) and oh did I mention that coupled up females automatically dislike me or think I’m about to jack their men the minute they see me? All this because of the shape of my body.

Lastly are my own insecurities and finding clothes that fit me because believe it or not, skinny girls also have problems finding clothes that fit them properly and I assume that’s why Edgars now has a “petite” label for all those skinny girls who are too old for the kiddies section or too broke to go to a tailor to adjust their clothes, I have even had friends that couldn’t find bras that fitted their little boobs, these are grown ladies who’s boobs are too small to fit in to a bra, thank God I don’t have that problem but it happens, you have a new appreciation for your boobs now don’t you? My insecurities range from one day thinking my butt is too small to a big stomach, stretch marks (I did say that I was a chubby teen so I got to keep the stretch marks when I lost the weight) and everything in between, I’m a woman, I’m human just like any thick woman out there so the next time you want to trade those curves, remember that the grass is not always greener on the other side and when you see a skinny girl please stop being nasty, she’s not out to steal your man although you might want to keep an eye on your man who will probably try his luck on her! I can guarantee you that almost every thin woman has part of herself that she would love to enlarge but the same can’t be said for the big ladies can it? Keep your curves, love them and learn to love and accept yourself just as you are, skinny or not. Stay beautiful because you are, no matter which size you are, its okay!

Relationships 101 For Damsels in Distress [Part 1]

In my lifetime I have seen sisters lose themselves in relationship that aren’t even worth their time, fight it out for men that don’t deserve them and get broken by weaklings of men and thus I have taken it upon myself to compile some rules for relationships, the stuff your mother never told you and some unfortunately had to learn through experience. This is my opinion of what not to do whether your in love or you’ve just been dumped and I hope you see yourself within these rules, you learn from these tips and most of all you avoid getting in these kinds of situations because I want you all to stay beautiful and stress and heartbreak free, so let’s start off with part one!

»You don’t own a man. Yes he might. be your boyfriend or your husband but No woman has ownership of a man because all creation belongs to God. When you accept that a man is with you by choice not because he belongs to you, you free yourself from so much stress so stop running around claiming a man that hasn’t even married you as “My hubby” or “My man” because he isn’t and I’m pretty sure his side dish will agree with this.

»Just because he has a child with you it doesn’t mean that he will stay with you. It shames me to still be talking about this in 2013 but just last week I met a young, beautiful woman who told me “He gave me my first child so he’s got to finish it off by fathering all of my children, he’s going to marry me.” That statement proves that some women have not learned that your uterus does not hold the key to your marital status. The farther of your baby is exactly that, the farther of your baby, not your future husband until he honours you by making you his wife so don’t expect it, don’t demand it and don’t push him in to it because it might just not happen.

»If you guys have been together for more than 3 years, there’s no ring and he’s employed and stable,pack your bags and make a run for it if you still want to get married! One thing I have learned from experience is that if a man wants a woman he will do whatever it takes to get her, he will get over his commitment issues pronto, he will move a danm mountain if it means getting what he wants because men are selfish like that and please do not fall for the “were still getting to know each other” excuse, I met a man who figured me out, as in how I think, the colour of my soul, what I like and don’t like etc. In just 2 weeks! And we weren’t even dating, we just spent a lot of time spilling our hearts to each other so keep a packed bag and when he starts giving you excuses, run. You deserve so much better.

»Respecting a man is like respecting your parents-you don’t have a choice, Your obliged to respect your man regardless of whether you make more money, are older or more intelligent than him. A good man should be able to pay this back by respecting you in return and please don’t don’t confuse respect and being passive. Don’t swear at him, don’t shout at him because he isn’t a kid and if you want him to act like one then please disregard this piece of advice.

»I know how wonderful men are and how we make them our first priorities just because we love them but if you have kids-read this very slowly and carefully. Your children don’t deserve to be second best, they don’t deserve to feel as though they aren’t good enough so please –never put a man’s needs before your kids because they don’t understand how it feels to love a man, this said from someone who has experienced it. Love your children completely and protect like a mother bear and if the man your with is the right one for you he will love you even more for it. You should never have to choose between your children and a man because your children should come first – always.

The Top 10 Most Beautiful Women in the South African Media Industry

Watching some of those top ten/top 100 hottest women in South Africa lists popping up everywhere made my heart sore and disappointed me somewhat because I felt that with most of those lists only a certain classification of beauty is represented and South Africans, Africans in general are so much more than just weaves and bikinis, our beauty is the real kind, the kind that you don’t get tired of seeing, the kind that makes you want to thank God for creation and since I felt that the real women were being overlooked in favour of just hotness in a weave or popularity I thought that it is only proper that I big up the real ones, the beautiful ones and they deserve an entire blog don’t you think? Here I will list celebrities who are underrated in their beauty, they don’t go to every event under the sky, they are foreign to the front page of tabloids (well some) and their beauty is not only seen but felt as well. These ladies right here are beautiful from the inside out so join me, share your favourites as I list my very own and first top ten of the most beautiful females in the South African media industry in no particular order because I feel that a woman’s beauty can never be rated or numbered, it just is. Please note I didn’t say hot because it’s not about the sex appeal, it’s about a beauty that is extraordinary and real.

[Pictures from: DivasInc, Google and SimplyEnhle.com]

Yummy Mummy, Wife and Tshisa actress Mbali Mlotshwa

Actress Zandile Msutwana

Yummy Mummy, Tshisa and former Generations Actress Zukisa Matola

Ses Top La actress Busi Lurayi. I love this womans legs!

Actress and Play your part presenter Mabatho Montsho

Her titles are just too many to mention so lets stick to her beauty, Noni Gasa

Generations actress Katlego Danke

Yummy mummy and scandal actress Lorcia Cooper

and then there was this woman, actress Terry Pheto, i think shes my next gal crush

Rythm City actress Nolo Phiri

Just Because SA can give you more? Isidingo actress Linda Sokhulu

And My Gal Crush Is …

It is love that dragged the writer’s block outta me and beat the hell out of it, well not love exactly cause it’s just a crush but at the rate that people are dating and dumping nowadays it might as well be love and the best of all is that she is single! Yes I have a girl crush, Im that girl that thinks God is an artist, that with some people he took extra time with the creative process and it would be sinful If we did not appreciate the beauty that he so lovingly created whether that beauty is male or female. I believe that in appreciating the next person you are in turn appreciating yourself because we are all created by the same God, so you are appreciating the God within them which is the same God who created you so please, when you see someone who is extra ordinarily beautiful, say so and see just how beautiful you feel afterwards because you will attract the same direction of gratitude to yourself so (and this goes out to the ladies more especially since we all know that we can be full of unnecessary hate and some Pull Her Down syndromes) lets appreciate, spread some love (or some like) and spread the beauty! If I were to name my top 5 most beautiful women internationally, I’m talking people who don’t just look beautiful but exude it as well I would drop names like Jada Pinkett Smith, Angelina Jolie, Berenice Marlohe, Jennifer Lopez, Kim Kardashian and of course my favourite, my gal crush, chris browns side thing Kerreuche Tran.

Who are your favourite hot people around the world that I didn’t mention? Can we share and big them up? I shall not waste a minute more in revealing my favourite hot person, Kerreuche Tran loveys! Apologies if you are #TeamRiRi but Ker’s beauty transcends all of that drama so appreciate would you? A beautiful day to you all my loveys!

The Sexy…

The Cute…

Looks like the girl next door doesnt she?

I still dont get how Breezy could give up waking up to this…

Writer in Despair

Every writer has experienced this and if you get paid for writting, this can be your worst nightmare because you have to write to make a living, there are deadlines to be met, recordings that need to be transfered to paper and an editor that is pernanently PMSing and its frustrating because its at this point you wish you can go to the store where they sell creativity and you know there’s no such. I think if I opened a store selling creative juices I’d be richer than Mr and Mrs Gates.

I have a writers block. A discovery that took me 3 days to accept because its the new year, I’d expect for my creative juices to be as fresh as the year itself but no, I have no ideas, no motivation, no inspiration and I’m as blank as some peoples bank accounts at this time of the year. At first I thought it was just laziness which I don’t really like calling laziness cause really, the only time a creative stops working is when they have writers block and then I was attacked by an angry tonsil which was intent on making me pay for an illness free 2012 and then I attempted writting again and when I couldn’t even write an entire article about my latest breakup, I knew it was that ugly block rearing its old head again! See my lovelife, or lack off is so blerry sad and sadness/pain and anger are the easiest emotions to write about for a writer so if I couldn’t write about that, If I couldn’t write about the pain that I went through these past couples of days I knew it was over, I had just to accept the defeat.

I’m reading up about writers block and clearing my head, looking for inspiration so in the meantime, please don’t judge me when there are no posts on the blog dear faithful beautiful readers? I promise to come back with a bang and writers block only lasts a few days either way so we well reunite in the name of madness, beauty, life and love don’t you despair.

Woman

Woman, i saw your tears trickling down your face
I have watched your anger fade as if never there
I have marveled at your resolve to make it through the rain
I saw your face crumple in to a frown
I have watched your passionate anger mould in to a cloud
That is because i have stood on your shoulders for far too long

I was repeatedly raped in the dark of night by a man
You believed to be your life partner a man with whom you shared a bed
How bravely you reacted packed me and your bags and left
Sat with me in chilly court rooms rocked me and told me it will be okay
How you wept I will never forget

When poverty ripped you of your dignity
And you had nothing left but your children
When single parenthood stripped you of everything except your strength
Woman you took to the streets selling odds and ends so the kids would be fed
You stretched a Rand and the kids were never hungry going to bed
Woman how you never gave up for them
Your strength never wavering to this day
I am dazed

When he ripped your heart in to a thousand little pieces
Abused your silence and rebelled against what you had to give him
Woman how you loved him still
Remains undisputed
Yes he did not come home,
Six nights in a row,
Yet life went on.
Your soul torn,
Again you loved.

Brought that child to earth,
Suckled on your breast,
Rejoiced over her first step,
So she can walk in to your room and steal while you slept.
So he beat on you but you never reported,
This is your baby you know he will change.
Even when his deeds delivered him to prison,
You wrote and visited
That cold place he doesn’t deserve
Where he doesn’t belong
He should be at home
Resting against mamas bosom
You never let up
You never slowed down
You soldiered on.

Now take a deep breath relax yourself,
Take some time for this heroine of soul that is so unsung.
No, not her, him, them or us
I’m talking about this creature of God.
Relax, slow down and sit down
While i read you this poem
That celebrates your soul
And tomorrow you will continue to soldier on

2012 was the hardest yet most rewarding year of my life with its highs, lows, dips and turns, there was a time that I thought I wouldn’t make it, there were times I asked God to deny me another day but it was all worth it and I lived to tell this tale and then claim it! The year started with so many hopes and dreams, so many plans and goals but I shouldve known beTter than to get my hopes up having started the year drunk as a skunk and with one of my fingers bleeding. It was a year of pain, heartache, loss in so many ways, I almost went back to being depressed and I discovered myself all over in that process and yes, every moment hurt me like hell but the thing about God is that he knows what he’s doing when you don’t know what’s happening.
This year I found out I was capable of a love greater than me and I learnt how not to fall apart when that love left me. I was so close to my dreams, they were all so reachable and I could taste them and when they were not achieved, my world was crushed but with that I learnt how to dream bigger dreams, new dreams and to my suprise I ahcieved those new dreams. I questioned who I was, what my purpose was and lived through that pain, I overthinked things, I tried to find the sense in the mess, I prayed until I believed that Jesus was just tired of me and I shed tears until I had nothing to do but just surrender. Ill never forget that day when I just let go cause I had nothing to hold on to anymore, God already knew all my struggles and I had no one, amazing how I had absolutely noone on my side, noone but God so when I let go of everything, it all came back in every colour of greatness and it was magical.

I met wonderful people, I met inspirational people, people who came in to my life as gods little miracles and made it better, I discovered my true spiritual path and embraced it, I wrote daily and it filled me, I saw beautiful places and learnt to be patient, I learnt to let go and it all came together in the end. In 2012 I laughed, I played, I gained the strenght to share my words with the world, I gained a dress size, I cried, I let go, I panicked, I learnt a new dance, I learnt how to believe in myself and hold on to me in the midst of a storm and sometimes it hurt but sometimes it felt better than vanilla ice cream.

I came back to me in 2012 and that was the biggest dream that I never dreamt, It was as if life was forcing me to stop and remember me and thus took away every distraction I had but it was worth it, going through that fire was life changing because I came out shinning bright like a diamond on the other side of it. What marked your 2012? Share your loves, your falls, laughs, highs, lows, beautiful moments and tragic moments, share it all and bare your soul, no judgement just love and best of wishes for 2013.

My 2012 In Words

2012 was the hardest yet most rewarding year of my life with its highs, lows, dips and turns, there was a time that I thought I wouldn’t make it, there were times I asked God to deny me another day but it was all worth it and I lived to tell this tale and then claim it! The year started with so many hopes and dreams, so many plans and goals but I should’ve known better than to get my hopes up having started the year drunk as a skunk and with one of my fingers bleeding. It was a year of pain, heartache, loss in so many ways, I almost went back to being depressed and I discovered myself all over again in that process and yes, every moment hurt me like hell but the thing about God is that he knows what he’s doing when you don’t know what’s happening.

This year I found out I was capable of a love greater than me and I learnt how not to fall apart when that love left me. I was so close to my dreams, they were all so reachable and I could taste them and when they were not achieved, my world was crushed but with that I learnt how to dream bigger dreams, new dreams and to my surprise I achieved those new dreams. I questioned who I was, what my purpose was and lived through that pain, I over thinked things, I tried to find the sense in the mess, I prayed until I believed that Jesus was just tired of me and I shed tears until I had nothing to do but just surrender. Ill never forget that day when I just let go cause I had nothing to hold on to anymore, God already knew all my struggles and I had no one, amazing how I had absolutely no one on my side, no one but God so when I let go of everything, it all came back in every color of greatness and it was magical.

I met wonderful people, I met inspirational people, people who came in to my life as gods little miracles and made it better, I discovered my true spiritual path and embraced it, I wrote daily and it filled me, I saw beautiful places and learnt to be patient, I learnt to let go and it all came together in the end. In 2012 I laughed, I played, I gained the strength to share my words with the world, I gained a dress size, I cried, I let go, I panicked, I learnt a new dance, I learnt how to believe in myself and hold on to me in the midst of a storm and sometimes it hurt but sometimes it felt better than vanilla ice cream. I came back to me in 2012 and that was the biggest dream that I never dreamt, It was as if life was forcing me to stop and remember me and thus took away every distraction I had but it was worth it, going through that fire was life changing because I came out shining bright like a diamond on the other side of it. What marked your 2012? Share your loves, your falls, laughs, highs, lows, beautiful moments and tragic moments, share it all and bare your soul, no judgment just love and best of wishes for 2013. A wonderful 2013 and NYE to you and yours!
[PICTURE FROM Freedigitalphoto.net]

As I talk to myself . . .

Hi everyone, I’m MissySparkles and I talk to myself, its become so bad that I find it hard not to do it in public, every time I’m with friends I rush home so I can talk to myself, I don’t do sleep overs cause I’m afraid my host will find out, I listen to music at insanely high levels so the neighbors can’t hear me laugh at my jokes and my family thinks I’m crazy because of this, my church pastor thinks there’s a demon inside me that needs to be exorcised and thus red wine has been my only therapist because of the shame, red wine and the mirror I look in to as I talk to my drunk self, so hi everyone, I’m an alcoholic.

A tweet from @Factsordie boosted my ego and made me feel less abnormal about being a PTTS (Person That Talks To Self) although its not to the extreme I described above but I have been called crazy a few times by my family but I like crazy, I like everything that’s not normal, why be normal and fit in when you can be crazy and stand out right? @Factsordie tweeted that talking to yourself makes you smarter and after grinning in public like the crazy person I am I took to researching that because I needed as much information as possible if I was to stage an intervention for my ignorant family.

So bigthink.com says that Talking to yourself helps to regulate your decision-making capabilities while a study by Daniel Swingley at the University of Wisconsin and Gary Lupyan at the University of Pennsylvania says people who talk to themselves find it easy to find things, not so crazy now am I? So next time you label a PTTS remember that they might just be smarter than you.

As for me I’m not about to stop talking to myself anytime soon, its therapeutic, helps makes sense of things, is one of the reasons I enjoy my company better than anyone else’s and besides, I love the sound of my voice and if brain doctors think I’m sane then I believe them. Have fabulous Thursday Honeys!

[Picture from readmedaily.com]

Nothing more than a pretty Fruit salad

I watched him leave, he was leaving our love, he was leaving our life together, leaving our memories, he was walking out on us and perhaps most painfully, he was walking out on me. This man that I had built my dreams and future plans around and with, he was not only a part of my life but he had become a part of me, like an extra limb but just not that weird, he was not only a part of my dreams he was one of my dreams. He showed me love so easy, with him I learnt that love is not complicated, love is not pain, love isn’t looking over your shoulder waiting to see if some babymama’s or side dishes will crop up, love Is not fear, craziness or heartbreak, He showed me that love is beautiful and love is one of the most simplest things on this earth but only if you do it right and then I had to discover that there is no way of doing love the right way but there is a way of just simply, completely, dangerously and wholeheartedly loving and that’s what he gave me, that’s what I gave him, innocent and pure love.

Our love was nothing like I had experienced before, it was magic and it scared me. This was the first kind of love I had experienced that was actually bigger than me, it had me in its grips and boy was I in the clouds, how can someone as little as me, insignificant, unknown me find a love like this? When did I learn how to love like this? I asked myself over and over again and I found the answer in his arms, love doesn’t have to make sense or feel right, love doesn’t have to be accepted or justified, love can just exist amidst the madness and maybe it will cleans the ugly and give sanity to the madness. That’s what me and him had, magic. If I had to explain the kind of magic or how it felt, this blog would be filled with love letters.

Perhaps it was not the fact that he left me that made it painful but the fact that he left me for her, it was so easy to find fault with her, she sleeps around, she’s ugly and I’m hot, she’s using him for his money, she is using her relationship with his mother to hold on to him, she is only with him because she wants to get married, she would never love him like I love him but I’m too smart for that although I might not look it. She was once and maybe still is a girl in love just like me, the emotions she is feeling I have felt or am going to feel once in my life because we have womanhood in common, so I removed her from this equation, forgave her and myself for being quick to judge and that’s when I went within me because I didn’t have him to hide in.

It was a beautiful journey within and to myself but it was not without pain. I was amazed at my strength, I had as much strength as the capability to love, It was as if I was rediscovering me again but still he had left me, wonderful, talented, beautiful, intelligent me, he had left me and how dare he! I was angry, I guess I still am but in living without him I realized that taking away pieces of watermelon from a fruit salad doesn’t make it taste any less delicious because it’s still a fruit salad and more than that, the absence of the watermelon lends the fruit salad some opportunity, you can add apples, bananas, strawberries and the fruit salad would taste even more delicious with something else in the place of the water melon. So when he left me he wasn’t really leaving me, he was leaving all the goodness and possibility that my love for him could provide and it’s okay because just like the fruit salad, I’ll make sure that I taste and look much better without the one ingredient that is him, I’m still a fruit salad, just a better one without him.

Beauty Tip of the week

You can never be beautiful without first finding the beauty within yourself and to do that you have to love yourself, know and understand yourself and accept yourself rather carelessly. So in Today’s beauty tip I advise you to look within you and access that love, that beauty within you and smear it all over your fine self because everything you need (including beauty) is within you. Outward beauty means nothing if your soul is holding on to grudges, pain, self loathing and jealousy so let go of that bitter juice, make a decision to love yourself more than anyone else in the world and watch your self get more beautiful by the day. Have a beautiful day lovies!

Shoes, Shoes, Glorious Shoes!

Right now your probably with your family and friends having food fights or for the less wasteful, stuffing yourself with beautiful food that looks so good it almost feels wrong to eat it and recovering from the new years festivities so I shall not disturb you lovelies with an engaging post but rather give your eyes some candy and something to put in your Christmas wish list for 2013 and besides so let’s perv on shoes baby! [Pictures courtesy of “A girl and her shoes”]

Be a rebel and rock these boys with some torn jeans, the classy and the ruggered

As shown in the picture wear with black pants or be naughty and sexify that little black dress

I see these babies and immediately imagine a big wedding gown, what picture pops in to your mind?

I swear i will be wearing these hotties when i get married, oops did i say when? IF i get married!

Christmas, Christmas Eve and the non believer

Today is Christmas eve, the day before Christmas, the day that Jesus was born and Santa Clause will spoil millions of kids if they’ve been good or at least that’s what I’ve been told. See the thing is, I don’t believe in Christmas, I don’t believe in Santa (In my part of the world most old white men see black kids as criminals in training and not cute little souls to reward for being good), there’s no snow in South Africa (unless mother nature gets really out of whack and decides to show us flames, in this case ice) and I’ve read the bible but I still can’t find the verse that says Jesus Christ was born on the 25th of December and until I find proof of that, I will continue to question this day the 25th.

Despite all of this I love Christmas (contradiction I know) but what I mean is that I love the spirit of christmas, the creativity and colour that goes with the day and the way it never fails to bring families together. Think about it, it took real effort to keep the Santa Clause story alive and make sure that its believed and entertained by countries like mine where we don’t have snow and the Jesus story is one of the biggest and most believed of all time, even if there is actual research to prove otherwise people sill hopeleslly believe in what may not be the truth. It takes years and hardwork to basically trademark Christmas, its colours, sell that to the world and make it believable. But that’s about all I like about christmas, the colour, the love and the Color.

So Christmas and Christmas eve are just normal days to me and I would rather go to an orphanage, old age home or hospital to visit the people to whom Christmas has the worst effect on, people who don’t have family and don’t have money for gifts to put under fake trees and I’d rather be doing that than holed up with my crazy family pretending we like each other and believe in this big old white man when we don’t. So no lies this year, just love. Merry Christmas eve to the believers.

My take on his Year end event

So I gate crashed a year end event (not really I was a plus one) because my company didn’t love us enough to throw us a bash, the perks of working in the media industry! Anyway I took off with my date to Bethlehem in the Free State and this my darlings is the low down on what happened and how it happened.

The companies name is Air – Tec Africa and the event was held at the Bethlehem airport, nothing fancy but it worked very well. The theme was Black tie and can I take this moment to thank the person who decorated the place? It was classy, elegant and still left room for fun and it stuck to the theme, I love! The event started at. 18:00 and trust the black people to arrive late, by 5:45@pm I had just began putting my dress on and cursing my date because I was forced to do my hair in less than 10 minutes, He is the reason we were late and that’s my story and I’m sticking to it, men just don’t understand.

Alas, we made it to the place in one piece and our lateness wasn’t too obvious but damn, that place was freezing! Being a Joburger and all I didn’t bring a jacket and no I didn’t dash for the bar to get some alcohol induced warmth, I was a good plus one, I heeded my own rules. The night started slow with pictures being taken outside and speeches (which were not too long thank god!) but all of that contributed in making the atmosphere warmer and brought the attendees together and I’m glad that we didn’t have to wait too long until the event began.

I won’t say much about the menu because I was already full when I went there and I like my food to be specific, when its sweet, it should be sweet, don’t give me sweet, sour, chili combinations unless you want me to throw up but the dessert more than made up for the confusion to my taste buds, it was the only dish I finished so God bless the chef for that. People came looking their best and no one looked trashy, I was however disappointed to see some men without tuxes, how difficult can it be to look like a penguin? But the ladies didn’t disappoint, they stuck to the dress code and burnt the dance floor when it was time to get down.

I had a great time, I left wearing my dates Jacket (such a gentleman that one) and even though my date was a reluctant dancer, I sure as hell had my fun on the dance floor and I’m glad that the company fed its employees beforehand thanks to that there were fewer hangovers the next day, or at least amongst the Joburgers. I even made a friend, yes, antisocial, people shy me made a friend! I wish I had taken more pictures to show to yall but below are some of the pictures I took, nice one Air-Tec!

Thats moi inside the venue

and so i struck a pose

Yours trully near the entance

My date aka the man who got me late

Eight Commandments for the office party/year end event [Part2]

As promised here is the last installment of the 8 commandments, thank you so much for the positive response to the first one and for those of you who already attended your office event, I hope the first installment served you well and if yours is this weekend, read on for a great Christmas party.

Thou shall not break down and cry. If you’re the type that gets over emotional when drunk please limit your drinking to just one glass or when you start feeling like you’ve overdone the alcohol get a cab and make it quick. Oh and if you’re a lady, waterproof mascara is advised in case you decide to ignore this rule. Crying is ugly and crying with your co-workers and boss around is uglier than ugly, it’s pathetic.

Thou shall not sing. This goes hand in hand with the thou shall not dance rule, I don’t care how great of a singer you think you are or how you are the lead singer in the worship choir at church stay away from the microphone and stick to talking.

Thou shall not be extremely honest. Alcohol has a strange way of having the same effects as truth serum so when you go overboard, remember to bite your tounge because in this case the truth shall not set you free, the truth shall leave you unemployed and broke.

Thou shall not enter nor begin any discussions about religion, sex or politics especially if you’re an ANC member. We don’t want the bible clappers trying to save the lost atheist or muslim souls or the other way around and your sex life, besides not being anyone’s business is not as interesting as you think it is and politics, well the less said about that the better, given our country’s current political climate

Thou shall not participate in any sexual activities with anyone at the office party. Sure alcohol has a way of making people more appealing but you don’t want to be known more for your sexual prowess than your actual work ethics and qualifications.

And the last one if your the boss, thou shall give your employees the day off after the office party instead of expecting them to come to work early the next day because they won’t.

Remember that if you don’t drink at all you wouldn’t need most of these rules so play it safe, you have the rest of the holiday season to get wasted.

The fashion in the movie Skyfall

As promised here are the wonderful dresses and skirts, beautiful clothing from the James Bond movie Skyfall. The last dress Berenice is wearing is just magical, it is art and when I saw it I fell in love I tell you, right there at the cinema I found my true love and its that dress! What do you think? Like or loathe?

If he can make a dull grey suit look hot then you know he’s sexy, the hotness that is Daniel!

Naomi Harris in three outfits, i love the red and the gold ones most.

Besides her banging body i love the black and white gown Ms Berenice Marlohe

And then there was this dress, This is my ultimate favourite dress in the movie, showstopper, Art!

What i think about Skyfall the movie

So I went to watch the new Bond movie Skyfall on Sunday evening, a first for me cause I haven’t watched ANY Bond movie before but hey, it was my mans choice (next time we go I’m choosing a real girly flick), I wanted to see if I could enjoy an action movie and I had to see what the hype was all about but trust me to pay more attention to the wardrobe and sexy lead more than the movie itself!

Back to the movie it was fun, a real quality action movie with just enough action to keep you entertained but not as much to give you nightmares. There was only one scene that I found too brutal and violent to watch so the girls can watch it too, if only for the eye candy and beautiful wardrobe. It has quality actors who are believable and although it doesn’t have as much sex as expected, the sexy ladies and a half naked Daniel Craig make up for that. Not a lot of gadgets either but it boldly demands your attention and keeps it until the very last scene. I was surprised when Adele was announced to sing the Bond song but It worked very well with the opening sequence and it appealed to the emotion, I still can’t believe that they killed off Bérénice Marlohe though, its so cruel! I was hoping she would ride off in to the sunset with James Bond, you know, like a romance flick but hey, it was James Bond after all so I guess my romance expectations were unrealistic.

Back to the point of this post, the costume designer outdid herself. I had so many “Gosh I want that!” Moments watching the girls clothes and kudos to Jany Temime for that! Check out my favorites in the next post, pictures only little text I promise but I will give you a little bit of a teaser below! Oooh and if you haven’t watched the movie, here is the trailer http://t.co/LlYiAcGu and don’t forget that in the next post, we finally get to talk about the clothes!

Doesnt lead actor Daniel Craig look good enough to eat in this? Hotness personified i tell ya!

Beauty Tip of the week

Today’s beauty tip is really a beauty find and I love it! Its called Camellia nut oil and it is magic I tell you, the many uses it has means that you save money and most of all, its a as natural as they come. Its derived from cold pressing the seeds of the Camellia flower and its rich in omega 6 and 9 fatty acids plus Vitamin E (gamma-tocopherol is the major form of vitamin E), and polyphenols, plant protein, plant collagen, and essential fatty acids which means its good for you.

Its an old beauty secret from Japan and it was loved by the Japanese geishas so now we know how they get their great skin and hair. In some places it is also known as Tsubaki oil, tea seed oil and below is just some of the benefits of this fantastic find.

Its great for many skin problems such as dark spots, stretch marks, dry cuticles, acne and helps with mosturizing, nourishing and softening skin. Its a very light oil that you can use just as you would use any other oil on your body and what I like about this one is that its also great for the hair as it helps repair dry and damaged hair so its yet another 2 in 1 ladies! It helps with nail growth and is great to eliminate wrinkles.

Try it out and tell me what you think will you? Find it in herbal shops and please share!

My new hair Journey/hainey

I have finally decided what to do with my mini afro which doesn’t include frying it with relaxers or traumatizing it with weaves. If you have read some of my posts you will know that I happen to be a staunch supporter of keeping your own hair and having it as African as you possibly can when you are a black person and one of the reasons to that is that I fear that black sisters are looking more and more like their white counterparts, we don’t look black anymore and we don’t own our identity as we did before and that worries me because I don’t want tomorrows generation to lose track of not only our cultures but our physical identity, our looks as Africans or to lack pride in their original god given looks, what with skin bleaching and all. So I decided to rock an afro not only to look unique as an individual but also to preserve my identity as an African woman.

Now having an afro, or at least trying to have one, has not been as easy as I anticipated it to be. I didn’t know the right products to use, my hair was breaking on certain parts of my head, it was dry and almost impossible to run a comb through and so I came to the decision to have it dread locked. Now I haven’t always noticed dreadlocks, they were just one of those things that look good on certain people but I never imagined them on my head but alas, I have found myself falling in love with the hairstyle in the past couple of weeks. Now I am aware that dreadlocks are a lifetime commitment, Im not expecting this new hair journey to be easy but I imagine that my hair will rejoice at the peace of not having an afro comb disturbing it every morning and I will certainly enjoy the comfort of having someone else, an expert worry about my hair and its healthiness. I’ve always wanted long hair and I have given up the idea of having it on my own and well, we all know that weaves aren’t exactly my cup of coffee so we are getting dreadlocked darlings! I just love the versatility in them as well because while doing my research on them I found out that dreadlocks can be braided, twisted and dyed and I wonder how long it will take to get them to be very long? Let me go do my research while you look at these pictures below and see different dreadlocks and their styles, do you have dreadlocks? What type, how long, do you think I should get them and which hair salon in Johannesburg can you recommend? Enjoy the rest of your Tuesday darlings.

I like the colour and size of these ones, think this will suit me

Im not too sure about these huge ones Bob Marley is rocking, what do you think?

Thin dreadlocks and Mohawked dreadlocks, beautiful but i dont like the thinness

i couldnt help but add one of my favourite singers, Latoya Mangezi and i love the other gals updo

In 2012 stays the ugly

The crazy, ugly and sinful things that happened in 2012 yet do not deserve to make it to our 2013.

The word “Hater” – someone gives you a bit of criticism and they are “hating”, I express my dislike about a celebrity and I am “hating”. This word is overused and misused so please, get over yourself and focus on positivity and goodness.

Mandozas “Nkalakhatha” – I love this man but I couldn’t help think that he must be losing it when I heard of him re recording Nkalakatha with Afrikaans lyrics. Its over, its old, let it go and stop reclaiming glory that doesn’t exist.

Bringing worn out US musicians to our country – Why is Eve or Ciara coming to SA? LadyGaga and Chris Brown I can understand cause they are still big worldwide but why bring a faded celebrity to our country when their own people don’t pay to watch them perform?

Americans getting leads in South African movies – Yes we know that the SA movie industry struggles with funding but come on, when your wife can’t cook you don’t go to America and get a better one, you stay with her and make it work and that’s what we should be doing with our movie industry, make a plan instead of whoring ourselves out to these american actors and funders and starving our own talented actors.

Colour Blocking – Its a nice trend but due to some individuals abusing it, Its played out and looks wrong so please comrades, let’s block the Colour blocking because I swear I can’t go out without seeing a christmass tree lookalike thanks to the ladies who overdo the colour and neglect the blocking .

Mullet skirts, dresses, shirts, everything Mullet – Those are the long at the back and short at the front creations for those of you who are fashion challenged. They are wrong, they are ugly and they look like a train that only a 3 year old can grab on to and follow you around.

Kelly Khumalo and JubJub aka KEJU- We know you hate each other now stop telling us! You made a beautiful son together so please focus on making that little person happy and shut up.

People who bash the ANC and President Zuma when they voted for the ANC. Your vote gave them the power to mess us up like they doing now so please, don’t go on an “I hate the ANC” Campaign now because when you had the power to make sure that they never get the chance lead us, you decided not to now shut up and enjoy the mess you created.

The razor cut – I can’t believe that in 2012 we still have to talk about this. Rihanna lied to you all because while she remains hot you all look like freaks of nature with that monstrosity of a hairstyle on your heads. Its been remixed and redone so many times and that alone is proof that we should let it go.

Men who wear floral shirts – I can’t for the life of me fathom how this became a trend in the first place because its just U.G.L.Y and so wrong.

The word “swag” – Another over and missused word. May we please let it rest.

Izikhothane – They are young, foolish and what they really need is a good education and Jesus Christ

What ugly do you think should stay in 2012 and never see a day of 2013? Share, add and don’t u dare take away. Now have magical monday!
[Picture courtesy of wowwindows8.com]

I already met my soulmate and our souls didnt mate

He was tall, dark and gorgeous. He was supportive, intelligent and broad minded. He was down to earth, educated, had a sense of humor and wait for it … He had a job that was more than just a job, it was his passion. He respected me, He made time to get to know me, He spent his free time trying to understand me, He loved the things I loved, He listened to me and when he saw my weaknesses, he made me better. He was mine and every time I prayed I thanked God for creating a man like him for a woman like me and that was it, I had met my soul mate!

Society then expected us to stay faithful to each other, to trust each other (are you kidding me?), to get married, have children and live happily ever after but because were human beings we broke each other, lied to each other, betrayed each other and almost destroyed each other. He wasn’t quite the same after that and to be honest, neither was I.

I found out that human beings are imperfect and riddled with mistakes. We are evil (Yes that includes the extremely religious), we are crazy and judgmental, we tell everyone that were normal yet we all do abnormal things behind closed doors. Human beings lie, steal and cheat, its a thrill, its forbidden fruit and its called adrenaline and we are animals although the classier type. That’s why we can’t stay faithful and forever and ever has to be forced in order to be possible, do I sound cynical? I’m not, I’m just realistic.

My point here is that we met and expected our souls to mate like we were told but that’s impossible given what I’ve just explained above! Refuse to be governed by what other people think, believe and expect. Refuse to conform and live your life in a box, show the world the finger and decide to do you after all, who’s life is it anyway? I expect his soul is happy wherever it is and I’m glad my soul didn’t like his because my soul prefers diamonds and pearls to any man. So be you, be true, all the time and not only will you remain beautiful, you’ll have more fun.

Eight Commandments For the office party / year end event [PartOne]

So there’s yet another office fête and you’re beyond excited because there’s a free and unlimited bar and the menu is nothing like the pap and beef that your accustomed to? Before you go there and get yourself fired or throw your reputation down the drain please read this list of commandments and have a beautiful year end event.

Its a year end event at your workplace and that means that this is not the time to bring your entire family and ancestors, you’re crazy ex who develops multiple personality disorder when she sees you with other females or that man who thinks an open bar is the holy grail, its an event where your boss will be presnt so ensure that plus ones are allowed and when they are bring a suitable and well-mannered plus one, not plus six who think they are attending a street bash.

Thou shall wear appropriate clothing. Yes I see you in your leather mini dress that is making your boobs scream for dear life because they are being squeezed to their very last breath all up in that party what are you trying to do? Seduce your boss? You do know that you will forever be that girl that wore the hot leather outfit and everyone will treat you like the skank you dressed like right? Stop it and wear clothing that is tasteful and stylish, don’t you dare rock up looking like Chommie performing jaiva sexy.

Thou shall not drown in booze. Yes I know it’s free, I know the platters you’ll be eating are not part of your everyday menu at home but don’t go overboard on anything because you’ll have to see those people the very next day so take my advice and get tipsy if the allure of the bar is too strong instead of getting ridicuously drunk so that your common sense will still serve you well and if you don’t know how to eat it, then don’t because thou shall not embarrass thyself.

Thou shall respect your colleagues. This is not the time nor place to tell that new girl fom finance how she makes your office life hell and you secretly fight the urge to throw up every time you see her, this is not the time nor place to fight with that guy from IT about the promotion that you were both vying for but he received, these are your colleagues, any grudges or issues you have with them you shall report to HR or see a therapist about it not confront them at the office party.

Thou shall keep your personal life to thyself. Yes we know that your boyfriend recently dumped you for a hotter version, your only child just started teething, your girlfriend or wife is cheating on you with your cousin but if you didn’t talk about it during the year, now is not a good time to start unless you enjoy your life being the main topic at the water cooler tomorrow morning.

Thou shall not mistaken seizure like movements as dancing. If you can’t dance then please save yourself and everyone else the tragedy of seeing you try. So, like Nonhle Thema said, sit down! Or better yet, network with those other rhythmless people that will no doubt be feeling as excluded as you will.

Thou shall always come alone should thy lack a date. This is pretty much self-explanatory, if you bring a family member or a friend you have no control nor say about how they behave themselves so what happens when your trusted sister ends up sleeping with your superior in the toilets? Trust me you don’t want to be the guy/girl with the lose friend/family member and to avoid stories about your snotty nosed childhood self being passed around the company, bring a long term partner or come alone.

Thou shall shut up and go home as soon as you get drunk, which you shouldn’t be doing in the first place but should you trip and fall over the bar and find yourself and your liver drenched in alcohol please don’t offer to make any speeches, don’t hit on anyone, don’t talk to your boss, don’t even look at your boss and just turn back and walk away, yes, call a cab and take your drunk ass home.

Add, share, happy thursday and let’s talk!

Love, Sunglasses and Pink Poppies

Falling in love is a beautiful thing. That butterflies in your stomach, permanently glued to your face smile and waiting for him to call routine that pretty much sums up the first three months of a relationship, of falling in love and it’s great. It’s a drug, a very dangerous drug that is addictive and bad for you because let’s face it, it’s not realistic. The rest of your relationship will not continue to go down that way unless you got that whitney and bobby brown high and even that never ends up good but there’s no need to throw your toys just yet because you can always be in love now that’s better than great, it’s fantastic. Being in love unlike falling in love is staying in love with a person who loves you right back and loves you the way that you deserve to be loved. being in love is like having pink and white marshmallows for breakfast every morning and not gaining weight or have your teeth decay from it, its bliss and sometimes it’s almost impossible to achieve.

My friends think I’m crazy when I tell them that I think to get through both feelings and still keep your fashion flair all you need are a great pair of sunglasses. I know it sounds ridiculous but I’m a creative so forgive me if I apply non-traditional ideas to traditional concepts. On the real now let’s consider my “crazy” concept just a little bit. Sunglasses are like red lipstick, they just complete an outfit, they make or destroy it, they shape the face, make you stand out from the crowd and to sum it all up they make you pop in the same way that hot pink, a red shoe or neon heels do. Now having all of that in mind and armed with the knowledge that sunglasses can save your outfit don’t you think that you need to be armed with a good pair when you have fallen in love and he doesn’t call you for 2 days and you’re crying your eyes out? The sunglasses are necessary to help you look good and hide your swollen eyes caused by too much crying and when you are in love you need those sunglasses so that he can’t tell that you are staring at him and his new beau after you’ve just broken up and your feeling miserable and all broken hearted. The sunglasses trick not too crazy after that explanation right, because sunglasses can hide more than tears from onion slicing.

This brings me to my last and favorite thing, poppies and pink poppies to be exact. They look good, they feel good, they go with anything, they brighten up your day and they are way better than falling or being in love because the only reason you would need sunglasses where they are concerned is to look extra awesome when you’re taking a photo next to them. pink poppies are awesome and I’d rather have those on my table than fall in love or be in love because they won’t break my heart, they won’t leave me, they won’t cheat on me and they will stay beautiful and become a reminder of my own beauty. So there, I would rather have flowers on my table (Pink poppies to be exact) than a man on my arm and look at the picture below and tell me what you think, what’s your three beauties combination? Have a lovely day, lovely person.

What is wrong with solitude?

If there’s one common thing in today’s society, today’s thread of thinking, the modern worlds media, today’s family institutions, schools and universities is that they all discourage and sometimes scorn solitude. They all painfully shy away from solitude of the self choosing the blissful escape of company. Solitude of the self is not only frowned upon, discouraged, made fun of, it is also considered abnormal by and within now’s institutions. I have always wanted to know why it is so, who set the standards and how can i, a proud individual and many others like me (although they may deny it out of shame) independently and joyfully exist within such a society and i hope this piece not only finds my answers but that it opens a discussion within and between individuals.

As a child i was a loner. In primary school i had one best friend and i couldn’t seem to fit in to the traditional girl groups, they always made me feel overwhelmed and if i decided to forget that fact and form a friendship with a group of girls, karma would come back to bite me as all my attempted girl group friendships deteriorated-badly. So i learnt to become accustomed to and content with having just one friend. When i changed schools in primary i was faced with the same problems-i struggled to joyfully exist within a girl group and i tried and tried and tried as each union crashed in front of me which pain was made worse by the fact that by that time i had lost so much confidence in myself and my abilities that i couldn’t manage to make and keep even one friend.

High school wasn’t any different instead it reinforced my belief and made me wonder if perhaps there wasn’t something wrong with me as every girl i know had a group of bubbly friends at her side whilst i could be seen walking along the school corridors alone as each attempted friendship just refused to work out or last any longer than 3 months. Since i was young i came to the naive conclusion that the problem lies with those girls that “did not accept” me although my low self esteem still told me that i was at fault. So i trudged along school alone, for most of my childhood and that was never okay with me because everyone said it was unusual, abnormal or a sign of depression.

With maturity and growth came the realization that i was not weird, strange, a freak, abnormal or not good enough as a child, i was just never able to handle emotional intimacy and expression with a group of girls without feeling overwhelmed and overpowering. I was never able to handle those situations because god created me that way not because i am weak or any of the words society and my peers used to describe me, point at me, ridicule me and label me and other kids who were like me. The problem is, why were we not told that we were okay, that we were enough on our own and didn’t need a group, didn’t need company to qualify ourselves to be normal?

Look around you, schools are encouraged to enforce conformity amongst students at all costs and every manner and very few schools in South Africa acknowledge the child as an individual and encourage that state of mind. Inside family institutions a child is expected to bring friends home for dinner or go out and play with their friends whilst the child who prefers to stay inside her room alone is considered abnormal. Even the media portrays Friday nights and wine as something to be shared with “the boys” or your “girlfriends” as opposed to your best friend or alone. One could say that if a child is taught to conform to a group environment that is done to socialize that child and i agree but i believe that when a child enters the stage of having to be socialized their individuality should already be established and in open existence yet this does not happen. In tertiary institutions first year students are thrown parties in order to help them belong-isn’t fitting in with yourself, belonging within yourself, and knowing oneself of a higher priority? All around you the world is telling us that being yourself, being an individual is not acceptable. The society says you have to belong somewhere or be part of something in order for your life to have meaning and worth.

As an adult i understand the importance of the self, of being alone, being my own best friend because it means i get to know myself better than anyone else thus making me exceptionally capable of making healthy decisions for myself, i learn to trust and love myself thus creating a healthy individual that does not need external validation, i know how to centre myself thus creating an internally harmonious and emotionally balanced human being and i have more time on my hands to think, plan and dream – on my own. Those children that walk on the school corridors don’t know that, he and she does not know that their individuality, their solitude doesn’t make them different, instead it builds them and makes them stronger individuals.

Iyanla Vanzant once said that before we develop spirituality, we are encouraged to develop personality and that well encapsulates my point. In spirituality you are alone with your deity and you face your demons and greatness on your own without any influence or shame. When you develop a personality you have to share it with other people and sometimes it has to be approved or validated by other people or societies norms. Teach your children to develop a spirituality and be proud of their solitude and feel whole on their own because if you can’t make yourself happy then you won’t make anyone else happy.

I happen to perform well with crowds, I’m good at making friends and i enjoy being in other peoples company. This may come as a surprise though and i still prefer my own company to a banging party any day because nothing is wrong with solitude as solitude of the self is the knowledge of self and the happiest place in the world.

beautiful things that happened to our favourite people in 2012

there is only 3 weeks left in the year 2012 so today we highlight the beautiful things that happened to media personalities that we love and adore.

Legendary Jazz musician Hugh Masekela has bagged a grammy nomination for Best world music for his album Jabulani, we wish him luck and we are proud of this legend!

Our favorite sista Lira was nominated for the best international act (Africa) at the Black Entertainment Awards earlier on in the year. She was competing with Iceprince from Nigeria, Camp Mulla from Kenya, Mokobe from Mali, Sarkodie from Ghana and Nigerian Wizkid and although the award went to Wizkid and Sarkodie we are proud that this sista represented our country on that red carpet.

Former Generations actress Leleti Khumalo tied the knot with long time sweet heart Winston Skhuthazo Khanyile in Kwa mashu. Don’t we just love this woman though? Congratulations Mrs. Khanyile!

Media darling Bonang your gal B matheba was selected to co host the annual Channel O music video awards alongside Nigerias Ice prince and then she was selected yet again to present the South African version of clash of the choirs which will air on Mzantsi magic, Congratulations Ms. B!

Tsotsi actress Terry Pheto made her debut on the bold and the beautiful playing a South African doctor and she made our country proud, we just love seeing our stars shine bright like diamonds internationally.

Finally 21 year old Marilyn Ramos from Pretoria was crowned Ms South Africa at the Sun City Superbowl last night. She hails from Pretoria and is currently studying architecture at the inscape design college and we love that we have a beauty with brains here, congratulations young beauty!

So what beautiful things happened to you this year? Is there more beauty around you that you want to share? Do share your opinion and remember, Its okay to have a beautiful monday!

Dream moment! inside JayZ and Beyonce Carters house

Close your eyes for a moment and let your imagination run wild. Forget who you are, where you come from and how much you earn and allow these words to become pictures in your mind, allow this moment to become reality in your heart, you ready babe? Okay let’s go!

Its a house that is beyond your wildest dreams but for now its your reality right? Imagine nine lavish bedrooms, so much space your entire family and your ancestors can bumjive in, you have eleven and a half bathrooms spread out over the main house for you and yours to bathroom bang all you want without a care in the world, you have a bowling alley with two lanes, a spa inside your house, a rock climbing wall, a basketball court, a skateboard ramp, a DJ booth and a karaoke stage.

Imagine the nine fireplaces around your house and that’s just the main house because you also have a separate guest house. You have a swimming pool, a garage that can hold up to eight cars and an section dedicated to a children’s performing area.

You can throw a party for days and no one will want to leave because everyone will be accommodated, oh and did I mention that you have a movie theater all up in there? So you can come back from work and head straight to your spa, invite the girls to join you while the guys are rock climbing and the children are playing in their performing area. Then you go to the karaoke stage and boogie while ubimba your soul out and later on? Well of course, movies upstairs in your own theater darling! And that’s just a small scenario of the possibilities.

Welcome to the house celebrity power couple Beyonce and Jay Z rented for a month in the Hamptons. Its priced at $43.5 million, they rented it for $400.000 and it comes with a name : welcome to the Sandcastle darlings! It was built by developer Joe Farrell and it is today’s beauty find. Now open your eyes, reality sucks doesn’t it? Dream a little bit with the pictures below, tell me what you think, never stop dreaming and STAY BEAUTIFULL!

SandCastle

Living area

imagine that

bowling alley

theatre

Beauty Tip of the week

Its that time of the week when I give you one very valuable and affordable tip that will hopefully help you sail in to the weekend with ease and make you look even more beautiful than you already are. This beauty tip is something that I heard about a long time ago and try when desperation calls so trust me, this works no matter how brutal it might seem. Ever heard that vaseline is the ultimate gift from God to black girls? Well believe it cause its true beautiful black sister! Black women have used vaseline over the years as a skin moisturizer, lip balm, hair moisturizer, hell we even use vaseline to keep away the cold! I remember weekday mornings when I was in primary and my mother would never let me leave the house without a good smearing of vaseline on my face and all over my body but I believed her when she said its going to keep me warm and now as an adult I find myself questioning the validity of that as I see primary school children looking as shiny as Igwinya fresh out an oil filled pan and I wonder, does vaseline really work or did our parents just enjoy making us look like the poster children for cooking oil while keeping us away from their scented dawn jars? Oh well that’s research for another day, today we are talking about beauty and the bottle, the vaseline bottle of course!

It is said that vaseline is great when used as eye makeup remover but since I haven’t tried that, I can’t say much about it so how about you try using vaseline to remove your eye makeup and tell me whether it works or not? I promise to try it too so relax, I’m not sending you in to the valley of the unknown by yourself girlfriend! Vaseline is cheap, easily attainable (chances are you already have it in your bathroom cabinet) and its easy to use so the more uses there are for it, the better for black girls on a budget, hell even white girls on a budget fit in here because today’s tip is not skin nor race specific, its universal and yes girls that means your man can use it too if he has scaly, chapped lips that are rather hard or rough to taste. Enough of the preaching and let’s get down to the business of using it.

Step One – Smear on a thick layer of vaseline but make sure that its even on your lips.

Step Two – Take your toothbrush (Yes the one you use for your teeth) to massage or gently brush on your vaselined lips.

Step Three – Wipe it off with a tissue and run some water on your lips to feel the smoothness, not only do they feel better they look better don’t they?

This tip is cheap, easy to do and it includes ingredients or accessories that you already have in your house and I doubt that most of you have found a solution further than your lip gloss or Zambuk (another gift to the black nation, especially men) for you dry, chapped lips. So let’s experiment together and get our lips looking and feeling beautiful without spending a cent! Share your thoughts and tell your friends and have yourself a beautifilled weekend my lovelies!

Lets settle it – Weaves vs Natural hair!

In my newfound quest to grow my hair in to an afro ala Precious Kofi, I stumbled in to some challenges that made me want to reach for the cream relaxer in wistful thought of my weave wearing days.

Now I’ve never been a weave girl, I had my hair relaxed or braided, extensions were not my thing but recently I jumped on the weave bandwagon and dipped my toes in to the soft, easy to maintain and almost addictive world of the weave and boy did I have a blast! Until it started itching and I saw more and more pictures of Naomi Campbell’s tragic hair line problem so I bowed out gracefully and went back to my Afro which right now I’m finding hard to maintain and manage as it constantly tries to show me who’s boss every morning and wins hand down.

When I was part of the weave brigade I received more than my fair share of attention from men and I’m a yellow bone so you can imagine the chaos. It was not only the male attention but the female attention as well, its as if there is a sisterhood of the weave wearers amongst women which is non existent with women with natural hair. Now I have no beef with weaves but I decided on an afro (which is a mini afro right now) because I just wanted to look different and unique and now its showing me flames for all my troubles.

The weave vs natural debate has been going on for as long as indians cut their hair off for us and after having been on both sides of the coin (which in this context is the head) I can agree that weave wearing sisters get more male attention although some men continue to say they don’t like weave rocking sisters and I understand why a hard working woman with no extra hours to fight with stubborn hair every morning would settle for the convenience of a weave when I have World War 8 every morning with my own hair.

So today I decided to allow the weave and the natural hair to take center stage and battle it out. Which celebs look best? Which side are you on and what do you think about the “men prefer natural” debate? I’ve never seen Bonang with her own hair but I know that her weave is always on point and she looks good in it! On the other hand Masechaba Lekalake with her shaven head looks gorgeous, unique and hot, considering that shaven heads are not for everyone. So what do you think? Share please and Let the battle begin!

Masechaba Lekalake with a shaved head and Lebo Mashile with short blonde hair

Precious Koffi rocking an afro and Lira with her conrowed hair

Ive never seen both without the weave, Bonang and Kelly Khumalo

Hlelo and Ntando Masina looking haute in their weaves

We need our own BoBelle!

BoBelle London is a luxury handbag and accessories brand that carries the most stunning bags I’ve laid my eyes on and below is a list of my favorite bags from their recent collection. The bags are made in England with fine leathers and the signature BoBelle clasp and they are my beauty find for today. Here’s a challenge to all young designers, creative’s and entrepreneurs, we need our own BoBelle in South Africa, sure we have many bag and clothing lines but we need something that is homegrown that can compare to the quality of your BoBelle’s and Prada’s. So what do you think of the Bobelle bags? You can feast your eyes on more of their products at http://BobelleLondon.com. Do share your thoughts and don’t forget to have a Beautiful day!

A Fitzroviad green Bobbelle bag

this is a stunning Grey Rivington bag that is just classic

Its a Cadagon cream bag when i see it i not only see perfection but Kim Karsashian pops in mind

And then there was this bag . . . its my favourite so far, a caramel leather bag

The showstopper is a Purple Glitter Clutch. Im not much of a clutch person but this one . . . hai!

Missy Has moved!

Dear  Friends

i started blogging years ago as a naive 20something year old who had an opinion, creativity, a passion, time and need to be heard. i appreciate how my followers and readers took to my writing and welcomed me to the blogogsphere, be it fellow bloggers who liked my blog or ordinary readers who supported my blog because of its content. Thank you to you all for supporting me and showing me so much love.

i used this blog for much more than just blogging, it was my online profile, the one thing i used to get me a job in the journalism industry in South Africa after all i had a qualification but no experience so this blog became my first job and it was  the job that led to other jobs. Writing has been more just putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard for me, it has been a calling, a life savor, my entire life and that is why i backed it up and will always be proud of the fact that i  studied for it and obtained my qualification which helped in getting me hired.

Anyways this post is about letting you know that i will no longer be using the blog as per original agreement, it will always be online until i get the guts to delete it but i have moved my online work to http://www.donnalifestyle.co.za where i am currently the editor and if you want more work that i have done you are welcome to just google my birth name Portia Mokowe because i also work for a well known publication and have worked for various companies so my work is all over the net.

I have grown as a writer and human being and i thank you for supporting me throughout this growth. Peace and Love be with you always.

Portia Mokowe

And Missy Returns!

I know I have been a stranger this past month, my humble apologies but It was not in vein. I was so busy and swamped that I barely had time to write, let alone get creative. Hmmmm, so where do I start with this come I am back speech of mine?

Well first I am proud to announce that little ol’ me found a job interning at a magazine called Live Magazine, check out the website on www.livemag.co.za! It has been a wonderful, interesting and scary time and I am learning so much about Journalism, words, people and this industry called media that I’m so in love with!

Secondly I’m also a feature writer for Orgellaonline.com go check out a few articles I wrote for them as well on http://www.orgellaonline.com or you can check out an article I did for Just Curious, here’s the link http://wwwjustcurious.co.za/2013/04/religion-vs-love/. So besides work what has Missy been up to? You will soon know in the next coming posts because MissySparkles has made the ultimate come back! Are you coming along for this ride?

xoxo
@Missysparklez